A book-signing, workshop for the organization-embattled parent

I know a few moms (Jenn, Diane, Erica, to name a few) who juggle full-time jobs, 2-3 kids, homes, cars, vacations, on a regular basis. While keeping on top of things as a mom may at times look seamless, it certainly doesn't look effortless!

For those looking for a few ideas on how to keep things neat and tidy, Debbie Lillard, author of "Absolutely Organized - A Mom’s Guide to a No-Stress Schedule & a Clutter-Free Home," will be making a stop on May 9 at the glorious IKEA store in Conshy, where I love to go to get a little design inspiration - including organization tips - and cheap salmon dinners!

SAVE THE DATE
Hey Parents - Get Absolutely Organized!
Book-signing and organizing workshop with Debbie Lillard, acclaimed author and professional organizer
Saturday, May 9, 10:30 a.m. to noon in the Children’s IKEA department, 2nd floor.

● Lillard will explain her personal method of organizing: CPR – Categorize, Purge and Rearrange
● Hear Debbie’s best tips on time management including household chores, daily routines and seasonal activities
● Learn how to organize the home by tackling one room at a time & how to organize family “stuff” from kids’ artwork to small toys
● Debbie’s book "Absolutely Organized - A Mom’s Guide to a No-Stress Schedule & a Clutter-Free Home" will be available for purchase & signing

About Debbie Lillard
Combining her professional organizer knowledge along with her personal experience as a mother of three young children, Debbie Lillard engages audiences with her ready-to-implement tips and practical advice for all parents. Debbie is the author of "Absolutely Organized - A Mom’s Guide to a No-Stress Schedule & a Clutter-Free Home" and has appeared on HGTV’s Mission Organization. Debbie’s tips on keeping a busy family organized have appeared in national magazines such as Real Simple and Woman’s Day. She has also been a guest on radio talk shows across the country. Debbie is currently working on her second book tentatively titled Absolutely Organize Your Kids.

Upcoming local book events

Some book related events you may want to check out:

RED HILL — Jonathan Maberry, author of "Ghost Road Blues," will offer a program, "The Nuts and Bolts of the Writing Business," at 7 p.m. on March 31 at Upper Perkiomen Valley Library, 350 Main St.
Maberry will discuss ways to get written work published and how the writing business works.
Call 215-679-2020 for reservations.
***
PHOENIXVILLE — The Phoenixville Public Library, 183 Second Ave., will host an appearance by author Lise Funderburg at 7 p.m. on April 6.
She will sign and discuss her book "Pig Candy: Taking My Father South, Taking My Father Home."
Reservations are required. Call 610-933-3013.

In a will, 'equal' doesn't always mean 'fair'

This Associated Press book review touches a topic I haven't: Wills and estate law.

In a will, 'equal' doesn't always mean 'fair'
By EILEEN AJ CONNELLY
AP Personal Finance Writer

NEW YORK — There's a lot more that goes into a will than directions on how to distribute an estate to your heirs.

Memories, resentments, regrets and greed are just some of the extras that get thrown into the mix. And even when families seem to have strong relationships before the will is read, anger and rage can bubble up if just one person believes that a will is unfair.

Les Kotzer, a wills and estate lawyer in suburban Toronto, has seen families damaged by fights over an inheritance. But people can avoid much of the pain by facing some truths while the will is being written, he said.

Parents should first recognize that "equal" doesn't always mean "fair." Splitting assets evenly between siblings may seem like the equitable way to divide an estate, Kotzer said. But when issues like how much parents contributed to the education of one sibling or the caregiving role of another are factored in, what's fair may be quite different from an even split.

Kotzer also advises people to never assume that after they die, their children will work things out, especially when it comes to things like family heirlooms. His new book, "Where There's an Inheritance," co-written with attorney Barry Fish, tells stories of clients disagreeing over precious items, from a grandfather's piano to a family portrait. The hurt that remains when these emotional issues turn into legal battles can be devastating, Kotzer said.

"People have to recognize that fighting is not just over money," he said. Parents who want to help their kids avoid disagreements or make sure that personal effects go to certain people need to be specific. "It's important to work out a neutral solution."

Careful planning and communication can help solve problems before they arise. "It's about learning how to avoid the battles," Kotzer said. "You have to recognize what the aftermath of a family battle is."

A sad tale, albeit far from a book review

I was skiing at Mont-Tremblant in Quebec just three days before the ski accident that lead to the tragic death late Wednesday of actress Natasha Richardson.
I did not see Richardson, or recognize anyone famous at the gorgeous village nestled in the Laurentian mountains, about two hours north of Montreal. I practiced my limited French on the Quebecois folks I met there, and skied (without incident) six exhausting yet jubilant hours with my French-Canadian friends Lorraine and Peter down the slopes of Tremblant.
It was my first ski trip to Canada and I hope not my last. Mont-Tremblant and the two smaller hills I visited later in the weekend were spectacular. Incidentally, this was the first season during which I wore a ski helmet, which I purchased last year at the vocal urgings (inspired by my sister!) of my 7- and 9-year-old nieces — both of whom are always helmeted on the slopes.
I wonder if a helmet would have saved poor Richardson. The accounts on the newswire about her mishap acknowledge only a head injury with a deadly delayed reaction.
I’ve been a skier for 27 years (of my 36). I was a member of a race team through my junior high and high school years and later worked as a ski instructor and race coach at two Pa. ski areas. I can say without question — and I have the scars to prove it — it’s a dangerous sport.
My damage resume: Concussion, age 13; partial MCL and meniscal tear, left knee, 16; ACL complete tear, right knee, 17.
So why do I keep going back up that chairlift?
Skiing is my sport; The one thing I feel I do with complete grace (all injuries aside, that is). And when you’re piloting yourself down a mountain, there is no yesterday and no tomorrow. No taxes to finish, no ringing phone to answer, no weight of the world. You are living entirely in the clean, clear present. Your only purpose is to find the best line, or path, through the conditions at hand.
My dad once said to me I was only happy on the top of a mountain (the point being, I guess, that the converse is sometimes true). It certainly does improve my mood to be perched on the top of a mountain, be it on skis or in hiking boots!
As for Tremblant, there's a local connection. Mont-Tremblant, according to the Frommer’s guide I purchased for my trip, was built by Philadelphia millionaire Joe Ryan in 1939 and is one of the oldest ski resorts in North America. Mont-Tremblant’s vertical drop of 2,133 feet is twice that of our own Blue Mountain (1,082 feet) and more than four times that of Bear Creek (510 feet), by comparison. Coming from someone who's skied a few of Colorado's finest Rockies, that’s pretty high, and is some of the best skiing in the east - if not THE best. I'd rank it up there.
Richardson’s husband, actor Liam Neeson, had been working on a project in nearby Montreal. We can only imagine that she decided to take some time at a nearby world class resort to learn to ski, as she was in a beginner’s lesson at Tremblant when her initial fall happened.
Of course I didn’t know the actress, but I feel for her two young sons, and the family that rushed to her bedside after she was transferred to a Manhattan hospital, where she eventually died.
Her death is the talk of our newsroom, exacerbated perhaps by the fact that I was skiing at the same resort where she had her ill-fated spill.
When I was done skiing on my day at Tremblant, just a few days prior to Richardson's accident, I set off with my equipment in hand down the picturesque cobblestone streets of Tremblant. I was wondering if I could make the walk back to the hotel in my leaden ski boots as my knees screamed, and I said a little prayer of thanks for that injury-free day.
Thank God I didn’t wreck myself.
When can I go back?

Tough times at work? Tips for keeping your cool when confronted by a hothead colleague

Are times tough at work? It will suffice to say they are for those of us who work in newspapers. Doing more with less is pretty much our motto. (That would be an understatement).

Below is a column from regional business etiquette pro and author Barbara Pachter. I'm a fan of hers, and not only because she sends me clean press releases.

6 Ways To Be Verbally Graceful During Tough Times At Work

Budgets have been cut, people are being asked to do more with less and many employees are worried about losing their jobs. As a result, people are stressed in today’s workplace and can easily lose their cool when difficulty arises.

“The important thing to remember when you are harassed or attacked by someone,” according to business etiquette expert Barbara Pachter, author of The Power of Positive Confrontation ($14.95 paperback, Marlowe & Co.), “is not to react in a way you will regret later. Though it may feel good to say, ‘Well, what do you know, you idiot?’ it’s not going to build your credibility or accomplish anything.”

But it is important to know how to respond. You don’t want to be thinking, “I should have said or done ....” It is easier to retain your composure, respond calmly and not attack back when you’re prepared.

Here are Pachter’s 6 guidelines for what to say or do when the going gets tough:

1. LET IT GO. Understanding that people are under a lot of pressure can allow you to cut the person some slack. Sometimes it can be best not to do or say anything--just listen. Many times the person will come back later and apologize for the outburst.

2. AGREE WITH THE COMMENT. A good defense is the best offense. You can agree with what the person said but add additional information that turns the comment around, such as, “You’re right. We did put a lot of people on this project because it’s important to get this information out to our customers at this time.”

3. ASK FOR CLARIFICATION. Ask questions or make comments to get more information: “Why are you saying that?” “Help me to understand what you mean by . . . .” “Tell me more about your concern.” “Are you saying it was . . . ?” Probing makes you less likely to appear wounded by the attack, and it also buys you some time to calm down and collect your thoughts.

4. ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT YOU HAVE HEARD. First acknowledge what was said: “I understand your frustration,” or “I hear what you are saying.” Then use the word and, not but, to provide clarifying information, because using but negates what comes before it. A defusing statement such as “There may be some truth to that, and we are looking at the numbers,” or “That’s interesting, and you may not realize that we’ve been looking at those numbers,” can also let the person know that you have heard him or her.

5. RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE. Be polite but firm. You can say, “I disagree, and here’s why…”

6. POSTPONE THE DISCUSSION. Sometimes it is best to talk to the person privately. Say something like, “You obviously have strong feelings. Let’s get together after the meeting so we can discuss this issue in more depth.”


Barbara Pachter is a speaker, trainer, coach and author of numerous business books, including When The Little Things Count…And They Always Count ($14.95, paperback, Marlowe & Co.) and NewRules @Work: 79 Etiquette Tips, Tools and Techniques to Get Ahead and Stay Ahead ($13.95, paperback, Prentice Hall). She specializes in business etiquette and communication. Pachter gives over 100 seminars a year to major organizations worldwide, including Microsoft, Pfizer, Chrysler, and Cisco Systems.

'Extravagantly long' novel is worth the read, if a little manipulating

The Whole World Over: A Novel by Julia Glass

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars
This novel by the National Award Book winning author of The Three Junes, Julia Glass, tells the story, primarily, of pastry chef Greenie Duquette and her unlikable psychoanalyst husband, Alan. What I especially enjoyed was the story being told through the eyes of four different but connected characters: Greenie, Alan, Walter (Greenie’s gay restaurateur friend) and Saga (a woman trying to carve out a life for herself after a massive brain injury). The stories start in New York City but follow the unhappy couple to Santa Fe for a bit.

I enjoyed discovering and unraveling the mysteries of the interesting and diverse characters in The Whole World Over. However, (spoiler alert) I have to say I felt somewhat cheated and certainly manipulated when, after 500 pages (the book, by the way, has been described as "extravagantly long" at 562 pages) of painstaking character development on not only these four storylines but also those of corollary characters, the book suddenly turns into a story about/is interrupted by 9/11. And I do realize that 9/11 did just rip through the lives of New Yorkers (and everyone) in a split second, it’s just not what I expected of this novel's denouement. An example of the "manipulation" would be when poor, brain-injured Saga gets trapped in Manhattan with an inability to understand why the sky is raining papers and ash, why people are running through the streets and gaping up at where the Twin Towers once stood.

Suddenly, all of the intertwined stories are just prologue to this horrible chapter in our nation’s history.

Still, it was a complex and compelling story. I especially enjoyed the descriptions of whatever talented chef Greenie was cooking: From apricot scones to lamb seared in ancho chili paste on polenta with two chutneys: pear & mint.

You can tell Glass is a foodie.

Also, you can tell I’m writing this before dinner.




View all my reviews.

Author aims to bring kids back to nature

Thin Green Line blogger and senior Pottstown correspondent extraordinaire Evan Brandt has thoughtfully brought to my attention to the following earth- and book-friendly local event:

The Berks County Conservancy has organized a “Last Child in the Woods” presentation, bringing author Richard Louv to Reading. On Tuesday, March 24, the conservancy will try to inspire educators, parents and community leaders to bring children back-to-nature. Louv’s inspiring work proves children need nature as much as nature needs children.


The public is invited to a special Meet & Greet with Richard Louv on Tuesday, March 24, at 10 a.m. at the Abraham Lincoln - a Wyndham Historic Hotel, located at 100 North Fifth Street in Reading. This is a unique opportunity to meet Mr. Louv personally before his lecture that evening.


Kindly contact Kathy Seyler at the Berks County Conservancy (610-372-4992 ext. 100) to RSVP your attendance by March 17. Refreshments will be provided.


If you can't make the daytime meet & greet, or in addition to meeting the author, you may wish to attend Louv's full presentation, “An Evening with Richard Louv” on March 24 at 5 p.m. at the Reading Area Community College Miller Center for the Arts in Reading.

To learn more, visit the Berks Consvervancy online.